天剛蒙蒙亮，小立睜開(kāi)眼睛，哈！天上飄下了雪花，像地毯一樣鋪在地上?！跋卵┝耍∠卵┝?！”他趕忙從床上跳下來(lái)，喊起同院的小伙伴?！跋卵┝耍∠卵┝?！快出來(lái)堆雪人吧！”小伙伴一聽(tīng)，高興起來(lái)，趕快穿好衣服，沖出了院子。

It's just dawn, Xiaoli opens his eyes, ha! Snow fell from the sky and spread on the ground like a carpet. "It's snowing! It's snowing! " He jumped out of bed and called out to his fellow hospital mates. "It's snowing! It's snowing! Come out and make a snowman! " My little friend was happy. He dressed quickly and rushed out of the yard.

咦,真下雪了！他們高興得手舞足蹈，有的在地上打滾兒，有的翻跟頭，有的......高興得不得了?！靶辛诵辛耍瑒e鬧了。”小立說(shuō)“快點(diǎn)兒堆雪人吧！”小伙伴聽(tīng)了，趕快從家里拿出鐵鏟、鐵桶，堆起雪人來(lái)。小華先用簸箕堆了一個(gè)大大的雪球，當(dāng)做雪人身子。小紅又從家里拿出竹竿插進(jìn)雪球里，當(dāng)做雪人的手。于是，雪人的身子就做好了。小華用簸箕又堆了一個(gè)小雪球。小軍趕快又往上鏟了點(diǎn)兒雪，“腦袋大就聰明嘛?！彼χf(shuō)。頭、身子堆好了，可是就差眼睛、鼻子、帽子。對(duì)了，鐵桶不就可以當(dāng)帽子嗎？小成趕快把鐵桶往雪人腦袋上一扣，這是雪人帽子。小紅又從家里拿出兩塊煤球和一根胡蘿卜，往雪人臉上一按，又在雪人鼻下用手指畫(huà)一條彎線，哈！一個(gè)雪人堆好了。小伙伴們又高興得笑起來(lái)。“雪人，誰(shuí)都不許動(dòng)！”小立說(shuō)，“除了太陽(yáng)公公請(qǐng)它上天外，誰(shuí)要是動(dòng)一下，誰(shuí)就是......”“小狗！”小成扯著嗓子喊。“好啊好??！”他們的笑聲飄得很遠(yuǎn)，很遠(yuǎn)......

Eh, it's snowing! They danced happily, some rolled on the ground, some somersaulted, some... They were very happy. "Come on, stop it." Xiaoli said, "make a snowman quickly!" Listen to me. Take out the shovel and bucket from home and make a snowman. Xiaohua first made a big snowball with a dustpan as a snowman's body. Xiaohong takes out a bamboo pole from home and inserts it into the snowball as the snowman's hand. So, the snowman's body is ready. Xiaohua made another snowball with a dustpan. The little army shoveled a little more snow quickly. "Big head is smart." He said with a smile. The head and body are piled up, but the eyes, nose and hat are poor. By the way, can a bucket be a hat? Xiao Cheng quickly put the bucket on the snowman's head. This is the snowman's hat. Xiaohong takes out two coal balls and a carrot from her home, presses them on Snowman's face, and draws a curved line with her finger under Snowman's nose, ha! A snowman is ready. The boys laughed again. "Snowman, no one is allowed to move!" Xiao Li said, "in addition to the sun grandfather asked him to go to heaven, if anyone moves a little, he is..." puppy! " Xiao Cheng shouted at the top of his voice. "Yes, yes!" Their laughter is far away, far away

點(diǎn)評(píng)：

Comment:

1.故事情節(jié)設(shè)計(jì)合理，內(nèi)容完整，思路清晰，小作者按一定的順序清晰地?cái)⑹隽硕蜒┤说倪^(guò)程。

1. The plot design is reasonable, the content is complete, and the thought is clear. The author clearly describes the snowman making process in a certain order.

2.孩子們的形象生動(dòng)，“雪人”的誕生過(guò)程充滿樂(lè)趣，文中的人物語(yǔ)言充滿了孩子氣，天真、稚氣又可愛(ài)。

2. The images of children are vivid, the birth process of "snowman" is full of fun, and the characters' language is full of childlike, naive, childlike and lovely.

3.文章語(yǔ)言簡(jiǎn)潔，句子流暢。

3. The language of the article is concise and the sentences are fluent.