題記：“……系統(tǒng)初始變量的微小變化可以導(dǎo)致運(yùn)算結(jié)果的巨大差異……南美洲的一只蝴蝶翅膀的扇動，可能在太平洋上引起一場風(fēng)暴……”——摘自《數(shù)學(xué)混沌理論？蝴蝶效應(yīng)》

Inscription: " Small changes in the initial variables of the system can lead to huge differences in the results of operations The flutter of a butterfly's wing in South America may cause a storm in the Pacific Ocean... " ——From the theory of mathematical chaos? Butterfly Effect

不管你是否相信，這已經(jīng)是我第一百零一次被抓進(jìn)時(shí)空管理局的監(jiān)獄了。我被判了一個月的監(jiān)禁，我想我有足夠的時(shí)間為我的傳記寫一個提綱。我的時(shí)空旅行充滿傳奇色彩，我相信我的傳記會成為暢銷書。

Believe it or not, this is the one hundredth time I've been caught in the prison of the space time administration. I've been jailed for a month and I think I have enough time to write an outline for my biography. My time travel is legendary and I believe my biography will be a best seller.

一、公元前36億年

1、 3.6 billion B.C

我在結(jié)束旅行前向原始海洋中潑了一盆洗腳水。我發(fā)誓我已把水消過毒了，天知道那水里怎么會剩下一兩個活細(xì)胞，難道是我締造了生命？哈哈！我是上帝嗎？

I splashed a basin of foot washing water into the pristine ocean before I finished my trip. I swear I've detoxified the water. God knows how there are one or two living cells left in the water. Did I create life? Ha-ha! Am I God?

二、公元前6500萬年

2、 65 million B.C

我的飛行器發(fā)生了大爆炸。我歷盡千辛萬苦才得以活著回來見大家，我的傳記差一點(diǎn)就沒人寫了。請相信我，我確實(shí)是按照《操作手冊》駕駛的——至于恐龍的滅絕，我深感遺憾。

There was a big explosion in my aircraft. I've come back to see you after all my hard work. My biography is almost empty. Please believe me, I did drive according to the operation manual - as for the extinction of dinosaurs, I am deeply sorry.

三、公元前70萬年，今北京西南周口店龍骨山

3、 In 700000 B.C., today's Zhoukoudian dragon bone mountain in southwest Beijing

我的打火機(jī)被一個渾身是毛的家伙（鬼知道它是人是猴?。屪吡?！為了保住現(xiàn)代文明的成果，為了不因違反《時(shí)空管理法》而再被抓進(jìn)監(jiān)獄，我同這個原始人（還是高級猴？）做了殊死的搏斗。這個頭腦簡單的家伙四肢卻著實(shí)發(fā)達(dá)，我被打得眼冒金星，終究沒有保住我的打火機(jī)，它的力氣實(shí)在太大了……北京猿人會使用打火機(jī)嗎？這真是一個不錯的研究課題。

My lighter is covered in fur (I know it's a man or a monkey Robbed! In order to keep the achievements of modern civilization and not to be arrested again for violating the law of time and space management, I am the same as this primitive man (or senior monkey?) A deadly fight. This guy with simple mind is really developed in limbs. I was hit with eyes full of stars. After all, he didn't keep my lighter. His strength is too great Can Peking ape man use lighter? This is really a good research topic.

四、公元前227年，秦

4、 227 BC, Qin

我見到了荊軻。這大個子對我的激光劍術(shù)佩服得五體投地，約我一起去刺殺嬴政。我同他干了兩碗燒酒，腦筋一熱就答應(yīng)了。請別為我擔(dān)心，我酒醒后思量再三，終于沒有去，要知道，我是一個守法的公民，我尊重歷史，至于那家伙因?yàn)槲摇熬舆h(yuǎn)未來”而孤身涉險(xiǎn)，“被八創(chuàng)”，可怪不得我，歷史畢竟是殘酷的嘛。

I met Jing Ke. The big man admired my laser swordsmanship and asked me to kill Ying Zheng. I worked with him for two bowls of cooking wine, and when my brain was hot, I agreed. Please don't worry about me. After I woke up, I thought twice and finally didn't go. You know, I am a law-abiding citizen. I respect history. As for that guy, because I "live in the far future", he was alone and involved in danger and was "hit eight times". No wonder I am cruel after all.

五、公元200年

5、 200 A.D

我又丟東西了。我把一本袖珍版的《三國演義》丟在了中國南陽。要知道那是真正用紙做的！是古董！花了我半年的薪水！那書被一個落魄書生拾了去，誰知道他原來叫什么，他竟然給自己改名叫諸葛亮！當(dāng)然，后面的內(nèi)容都是我在法庭上聽到的。

I lost something again. I left a pocket edition of the romance of the Three Kingdoms in Nanyang, China. You know it's really made of paper! It's an antique! It cost me half a year's salary! The book was picked up by a down-to-earth scholar. Who knows his original name? He even renamed himself Zhuge Liang! Of course, I heard the rest in court.

六、公元1682年，英國

6、 1682, England

我從飛行器上隨手扔下去的一個爛蘋果竟然砸到了人。哈哈！太有諷刺意味了，我的近視眼鏡是兩千度的，我的射擊成績向來在5環(huán)以下！那個倒霉蛋被我砸暈了，對不起，我并不知道他是偉大的伊薩克？牛頓。

I dropped a rotten apple from the aircraft and hit someone. Ha-ha! It's ironic that my nearsighted glasses are 2000 degrees, and my shooting performance is always below 5 rings! I'm sorry. I didn't know that he was a great Isaac? Newton.

七、公元1923年，德國

7、 1923, Germany

我參加了一次酒吧斗毆，打得真是稀里嘩啦，劈里啪喳，過癮之極。我拼著性命救出了一個小個子，他對我十分感激，我和他一起被捕入獄，他向我口述了自傳，天哪！書名竟然叫《我的奮斗》。我確實(shí)不是有意救他的——這個臭名昭著的阿道夫？希特勒。

I took part in a bar fight. It was really a fight. It was very exciting. I saved a small man with my life. He was very grateful to me. I was arrested with him. He dictated his autobiography to me. My God! The title of the book is my struggle. I didn't mean to save him - this notorious Adolf? Hitler.

八、……

Eight,...

九、……

Nine,...

文章以外的故事：

Stories beyond the article:

一個月后。

A month later.

“我”終于出獄了，自由的空氣啊，怎么吸也吸不夠?！拔摇庇忠淮翁ど狭藭r(shí)間之旅，這一次是1999年12月，“我”準(zhǔn)備參觀“千禧年”的慶典……

"I" finally got out of prison, free air ah, how to suck is not enough. "I" once again embarked on a journey of time, this time in December 1999, "I" is going to visit the celebration of "Millennium"

返航途中。

On the way back.

“??！不！不！這不是真的！不！……”“我”絕望地哀嚎，“我”把傳記的提綱丟在1999年12月了！真主安拉！釋迦牟尼！耶穌基督！……

"Ah! No No It is not true. No!... " "I" wailed desperately, "I" left the outline of the biography in December 1999! Allah! Shakya Muni! Jesus Christ

時(shí)空管理局審判大廳。

Trial Hall of the administration of time and space.

“……被告人遺失的文章《陰差陽錯》涉及大量1999年以后的歷史內(nèi)容，犯有“故意泄露歷史秘密罪”，判處流放冥王星，無期……”法官莊嚴(yán)的聲音在大廳中回響，“你還有什么要說的嗎？”法官問。“我”有氣無力地問：“我的文章究竟落在誰的手里了？能告訴我嗎？尊敬的法官大人?！薄翱梢?。”法官說，“他叫李嘉輝，他用你的提綱參加‘頂新杯全國中學(xué)生作文大賽’，竟然還得了獎……”“啊！這個該死的李嘉輝！這個小偷！這個賊！我要把他碎尸萬段！……”“我”仰天大叫，眼前一黑，暈了過去……

"... The defendant's lost article "errors between the Yin and the Yang" involves a large number of historical contents after 1999. He is guilty of "intentionally disclosing historical secrets" and is sentenced to exile Pluto for a long time... " The solemn voice of the judge echoed in the hall, "do you have anything else to say?" The judge asked. "I" feebly asked: "whose hand is my article? Can you tell me? Your honor. " "Yes." The judge said, "his name is Li Jiahui. He used your outline to participate in the" Dingxin Cup "national composition contest for middle school students, and even won the prize..." "Ah! This damn Li Jiahui! This thief! This thief! I'm going to tear him to pieces! " "I" look up to the sky and scream. It's dark and faints