[原題回放]

[playback of original question]

題目：肩膀

Title: shoulders

要求：除詩(shī)歌外，文體自選。不少于800字。（60分）

Requirements: besides poetry, the style is optional. No less than 800 words. (60 points)

[文題詮釋]

[text explanation]

今年遼寧卷的作文命題形式是命題作文。由去年此省的“今年花勝去年紅”短語(yǔ)類命題作文，變成了詞語(yǔ)類命題作文。這個(gè)命題是今年全國(guó)十幾套作文題目的亮點(diǎn)，主要表現(xiàn)在：

This year's Liaoning volume's composition proposition form is proposition composition. From the phrase proposition composition of "this year's flower is better than last year's red" in this province last year, it has become the word proposition composition. This topic is the highlight of more than ten sets of composition topics in China this year, mainly reflected in:

（1）本命題是對(duì)近兩年命題作文的繼承。繼承的是近兩年作文命題的基本特點(diǎn)，自2004年第一次分省命題以來，作文命題就呈現(xiàn)了多樣化的特色，話題作文、材料作文、命題作文等等作文形式紛紛登陸高考試卷，過去那種一種命題形式一統(tǒng)天下的模式被徹底打破（1999年以來連續(xù)7年全國(guó)卷是以“話題作文”為主打品牌）。遼寧卷的作文命題很好地繼承了這個(gè)特點(diǎn)。

(1) This thesis is the inheritance of the thesis in the past two years. It inherits the basic characteristics of composition proposition in the past two years. Since the first provincial proposition in 2004, composition proposition has shown diversified characteristics. Topic composition, material composition, proposition composition and other composition forms have landed in college entrance examination papers one after another. In the past, the pattern of proposition form dominating the world has been completely broken (since 1999, the national paper has been "topic composition" for seven consecutive years) For the main brand). The composition proposition of Liaoning volume inherits this characteristic well.

（2）給考生提供了廣闊的寫作空間。本題與2005年江西卷“以‘臉’為話題”的作文相似。它們都是人身體的一部分，都是富有含義的地方。因此，考生看到這個(gè)題目，不會(huì)感到陌生，考生的第一感覺應(yīng)該是首先想到自己的父母，想到父母為自己的付出，想到父母是自己人生的依靠，是自己人生之旅的拐杖，因而，下筆是較容易的。但這樣的想法不容易出新，人人都這么想，也都這么做，作文自然平庸了。

(2) It provides a broad writing space for examinees. This topic is similar to the composition of "face" in Jiangxi volume in 2005. They are all part of the human body, and they are all meaningful places. Therefore, when examinees see this topic, they will not feel strange. The first feeling of examinees should be to think of their parents first, think of their parents' efforts for themselves, think of their parents as their life's dependence and crutches for their life journey. Therefore, it is easier to write. But such an idea is not easy to bring forth new ideas. Everyone thinks so and does so. The composition is naturally mediocre.

筆者認(rèn)為，考生可以從以下方面來審題立意：一是從肩膀的功能角度來思考，肩膀是一個(gè)人身體的重要部位，肩膀的存在意義重大。二是從肩膀的比喻義和引申義來思考，這種思考是創(chuàng)新的最佳角度。如肩膀是信念，肩膀是理想，肩膀是希望，這些支撐了一個(gè)人的精神世界，我們需要依靠信念、理想、希望。肩膀是一個(gè)民族騰飛的保障，自古以來，“鐵肩擔(dān)道義”者不就是最好的范例嗎？考生還可以逆向思維來求新，任何事物的存在都是矛盾的統(tǒng)一，肩膀的多寡與我們的成長(zhǎng)有何關(guān)聯(lián)呢？肩膀是越多越好，還是越少越好？全憑你的認(rèn)識(shí)來決定。

The author believes that examinees can examine questions from the following aspects: first, from the perspective of shoulder function, shoulder is an important part of a person's body, and the existence of shoulder is of great significance. The second is to think from the analogy and extension of shoulder, which is the best angle of innovation. For example, shoulder is faith, shoulder is ideal, shoulder is hope. These support a person's spiritual world. We need to rely on faith, ideal and hope. Shoulder is the guarantee for a nation to take off. Since ancient times, is not the "iron shoulder" the best example? Examinees can also reverse thinking to seek innovation. The existence of anything is the unity of contradiction. How is the shoulder related to our growth? Is the more the better, or the less the better? It's all up to you.

肩膀多，可以使我們衣食無(wú)憂，學(xué)習(xí)無(wú)苦，但卻帶來了好逸惡勞、不思進(jìn)取的壞毛病；肩膀少，雖然會(huì)使我們經(jīng)歷人生的種種不幸或苦難，但卻帶來我們對(duì)人生、對(duì)社會(huì)的深刻認(rèn)識(shí)，增強(qiáng)自我抗挫折能力，使自己更健康地成長(zhǎng)。

A lot of shoulders can make us have no worries about food and clothing, and no pains in study, but it brings us the bad habits of being easygoing and hard-working and not eager to make progress; a little shoulders can make us experience all kinds of misfortunes or sufferings in life, but it brings us a deep understanding of life and society, enhances our ability to resist setbacks, and makes us grow healthily.

[滿分作文1]

[Full Score composition 1]

肩膀

shoulder

豐子愷先生有一幅漫畫：一個(gè)行人，微弓著腰，擔(dān)著沉甸甸的行囊，獨(dú)自在山路上逶迤而行?！耙患鐡?dān)盡古今愁”，這是畫的題目。

Mr. Feng Zikai has a cartoon: a pedestrian, bowing slightly and carrying heavy luggage, is walking alone on the mountain road. This is the title of painting.

亙古以來，因人類的智慧、愚笨，愁便似噴發(fā)的火山熔巖，層層堆疊，凝住，冷卻……

Since ancient times, because of the wisdom and stupidity of human beings, worries have been like volcanic lava erupting, stacked layer by layer, frozen and cooled

人世間，有人肯一肩擔(dān)盡古今愁，這是何等的氣概！又是何等的悲壯！也許還有些許的無(wú)奈……

In the world, some people are willing to bear all the worries of the past and the present. What a spirit! What a tragedy! Maybe there is a little helplessness

歷史的長(zhǎng)河翻滾著，是李白吧，“白發(fā)三千丈，緣愁似個(gè)長(zhǎng)”，但他愁的是遭貶的不幸，來這岸邊借酒消愁。是李煜吧，“問君能有幾多愁？恰似一江春水向東流”，但他愁的只是小家園的悲哀，最后南唐后主只能結(jié)束于一杯毒酒。是李清照吧，“這次第，怎一個(gè)愁字了得”，但她只是愁思念的綿綿無(wú)期！

The long river of history is rolling. It's Li Bai. His hair is three thousand feet white, and his sorrow is like a long one. But what he worries about is the misfortune of being demoted. He came here to drink to relieve his sorrow. It's Li Yu, "how much worry can you have? It's like a river flowing eastward in spring. "But what he worries about is the sorrow of his small home. At last, the emperor of the Southern Tang Dynasty can only end up with a cup of poisonous wine. It's Li Qingzhao, "this time, how can I get it?" but she is just worried about the endless period of missing!

有誰(shuí)愁的是曠世的悲哀？有誰(shuí)愁的是古今的災(zāi)難？他們?cè)谶@岸邊徘徊、沉吟、揮淚，歷史在岸邊的礁石上刻下了他們不朽的名字。

Who cares about the sorrow of the world? Who worries about ancient and modern disasters? They wandered, pondered and wept on the shore, and history carved their immortal names on the rocks.

三閭大夫停留過，思考過，“路漫漫其修遠(yuǎn)兮，吾將上下而求索”，這是他情懷的寫照吧！舉身赴汨羅，這是他愁緒的延續(xù)吧！我看見了他的悲哀，看盡了他的痛楚，他默默地走開，卻留給后世以悲壯！

Dr. Sanlu has stayed and thought, "it's a long way to go. I'll go up and down and ask for help." this is a picture of his feelings! Lift up to Miluo, this is the continuation of his melancholy! I saw his sorrow and saw all his pain. He walked away silently, but left it to the later generations!

魯迅先生停留過，他用鐵一樣的筆桿批判著，棄醫(yī)從文的選擇是因?yàn)樗趹n愁，他的肩上有著自古至今的愁！“人吃人”的社會(huì)是他批判的：“救救孩子”的呼吁是他發(fā)出的：“橫眉冷對(duì)千夫指，俯首甘為孺子牛”是他留給后人的思索。因?yàn)樗麩o(wú)所畏懼，所以他會(huì)承擔(dān)這無(wú)盡的愁，給世界一個(gè)解釋！

Mr. Lu Xun has stayed, he criticizes with the iron like pen, the choice of abandoning medicine from literature is because of his sorrow, and his shoulder has the sorrow since ancient times! "People eat people" society is his criticism: "save the children" call is he sent out: "cross brow cold to thousands of fingers, bow to be willing to be a willing ox" is his left thinking for future generations. Because he is fearless, he will bear the endless worries and give an explanation to the world!

“有的人死了，但他還活著”，有多少人的愁穿越時(shí)空，綿延至今；有多少人的愁承前啟后，亙古不衰？是啊！他們還活著，他們?nèi)匀辉诔钪?/p>

"Some people are dead, but they are still alive." how many people's worries have gone through time and space, and have continued to this day. How many people's worries have been lasting? Yeah! They are still alive, they are still worried.

一肩擔(dān)盡古今愁，擔(dān)起曠世的悲哀，承起前人的啟示，留給后人啟迪。是責(zé)任還是義務(wù)？是責(zé)任！

One shoulder bears all the worries of the past and the present, bears the sorrows of the open world, bears the Enlightenment of the predecessors, and leaves the enlightenment for the future generations. Responsibility or obligation? Responsibility!

一肩擔(dān)盡古今愁，擔(dān)起民族的興衰。憂勞可以興國(guó)，逸豫可以亡身。他們?cè)诿褡宓尼绕饡r(shí)留下名字，不朽于史冊(cè)，名垂千古！

One shoulder bears the sorrows of the past and the present, and bears the rise and fall of the nation. Sorrow and labor may prosper the country, and leisure may perish. They once left their names in the rise of the nation, immortal in the history books, lasting for thousands of years!

一肩擔(dān)盡古今愁，需要勇氣也需要力量，但這是每個(gè)熱血沸騰的中華兒女都應(yīng)擔(dān)起的重任，誰(shuí)都不能退縮，誰(shuí)也不能退縮！

It takes courage and strength to shoulder all the worries of the past and the present, but this is a task that every passionate Chinese people should shoulder. No one can shrink back, no one can shrink back!

一肩擔(dān)盡古今愁需要堅(jiān)實(shí)的肩膀??！

A solid shoulder is needed to bear all the worries of the past and the present!

[名師點(diǎn)評(píng)]

[comments on famous teachers]

文章值得說道的有以下幾點(diǎn)：

The following points are worth mentioning:

一、立意不俗，選材精當(dāng)。文章以“一肩擔(dān)盡古今愁”為題，以歷史人物為思維定點(diǎn)，然后一步步搜尋，到底什么是“古今愁”，到底什么樣的人能擔(dān)起“古今愁”，順著這個(gè)思路，作者引出了屈原、魯迅，并以此佐證只有這樣的人，擔(dān)的才是古今愁，只有這樣的人，才能擔(dān)起古今愁！這“古今愁”就是對(duì)國(guó)家、社會(huì)的一種責(zé)任，能擔(dān)起這樣“古今愁”的人應(yīng)該有堅(jiān)實(shí)的肩膀。

1、 The idea is not vulgar, and the material selection is precise. This article takes "one shoulder bears all the worries of ancient and modern times" as the title, takes historical figures as the thinking point, and then searches step by step, what is "ancient and modern worries" and what kind of people can bear "ancient and modern worries". Following this thinking, the author leads out Qu Yuan and Lu Xun, and proves that only such people can bear ancient and modern worries, and only such people can bear ancient and modern worries! This "ancient and modern sorrow" is a kind of responsibility to the country and society. People who can bear this "ancient and modern sorrow" should have a solid shoulder.

二、結(jié)構(gòu)嚴(yán)謹(jǐn)。文章圍繞“一肩擔(dān)盡古今愁”來行文，列舉了各種材料，但都圍繞這個(gè)中心。

2、 Rigorous structure. This article focuses on "shoulder all the worries of the past and the present" and lists various materials, but all around this center.

三、語(yǔ)言富于變化。語(yǔ)句整散交互出現(xiàn)，語(yǔ)勢(shì)豐沛！

3、 Language is full of variety. The sentences are scattered and interactive, and the language is rich!