媽媽，您還好嗎？在那個世界還會有人像我這樣愛您嗎？也許吧，也許會有比我更聽話的女兒每天照顧您，也許您在過著幸福的生活。
Mom, are you ok? Will someone in that world love you as much as I do? Maybe, maybe there will be a more obedient daughter to take care of you every day, maybe you are living a happy life.
可是媽媽，我會想您，在每一個靜靜的深夜，在每一條孤獨的小路，在每一個寂寞的窗前。我會輕輕的抽泣，一下一下，觸碰著我的心，很痛。我想，之所以會難過，是因為太想念，是因為離別的傷口真的太深，早已刻下了無法抹去的痛。
But mom, I will miss you, in every quiet night, in every lonely path, in every lonely window. I will sob gently, once, touch my heart, very painful. I think the reason why I feel sad is that I miss you so much, because the wound of parting is really too deep, and the pain that can't be erased has already been engraved.
媽媽，您走的時候，我不知道哭了多久。可是，您再也看不見了，您再也不會來安慰我了，再也不會把您溫暖的肩膀借給我了。再也不會了！真的，我不知道除了哭還能做什么。我像個傻瓜一樣，哭到再也沒有力氣，我靜靜的倒下了。醒來時，我多么希望那是個噩夢！我找啊，喊啊，您再也沒回應(yīng)我，我才明白，這確是個噩夢——真實的噩夢。
Mom, I don't know how long I cried when you left. However, you will never see again, you will never come to comfort me, and you will never lend me your warm shoulder. Never again! Really, I don't know what I can do but cry. I like a fool, cry to no longer have the strength, I fell quietly. How I wish it was a nightmare when I woke up! I look for it, shout it, and you never respond to me again. I understand that it's a nightmare - a real nightmare.
以前，我總愛考完試第一個把成績單拿給您看，因為我的成績總能換來您的笑容。那一刻綻放的是這個世界最美的笑。為了看到那枚笑容，我總是努力再努力?？涩F(xiàn)在，您知道嗎？當(dāng)我再也看不到您的笑容時，那該是怎樣的失落與絕望……
Before, I always loved to show you my report card after the test, because my score always brings you a smile. At that moment, it was the most beautiful smile in the world. In order to see that smile, I always try my best. But now, do you know? When I can no longer see your smile, what kind of loss and despair should it be
我長大了，真的。記得您以前總愛說我是個長不大的孩子。這些年來，經(jīng)過了一個個日日夜夜，我不知不覺懂得了很多：我學(xué)會了寬容、理解，學(xué)會了珍惜每個人給我的愛，學(xué)會了替別人著想。媽媽，您看見了嗎？您的女兒懂事了，不再是個讓人擔(dān)心的孩子了。
I grew up, really. I remember you used to say that I was a little boy. Over the years, through day and night, I unconsciously learned a lot: I learned to be tolerant and understanding, to cherish the love everyone gave me, and to think for others. Mom, have you seen it? Your daughter is sensible and no longer a worrying child.
媽媽，回來好不好？我一定不會再因一時任性而惹您生氣了；一定不會再因晚回家讓您擔(dān)心了；我一定不會再讓您感到孤獨了；我一定不會再為了好看求您給我買新衣服了；我一定不會再偷懶不幫你做家務(wù)了；我……可是我知道，再也不會了，我都知道。
Mom, will you come back? I won't make you angry because of my caprice; I won't worry you about coming home late; I won't make you feel lonely anymore; I won't ask you to buy me new clothes for the sake of looking good; I won't be lazy anymore and won't help you with your housework; I But I know, never again, I know.
媽媽，您看見了嗎？這一籃子春光：有唱歌的鳥兒，有微笑的花兒，有溫柔的春風(fēng)，還有帶著希望的春雨。它們象征著新的希望，象征著我對您的祝福，希望您可以一直幸福的生活。我是您永遠的女兒，愛著您，默默的為您祈禱。
Mom, have you seen it? This basket of spring light: there are singing birds, smiling flowers, gentle spring breeze, and spring rain with hope. They symbolize new hope and my blessing for you. I hope you can live a happy life all the time. I am your forever daughter, love you, silently pray for you.
媽媽，請保留好這一籃子春光，保留好我最真心的祝福。
Mom, please keep this basket of spring light and my best wishes.
【滿分亮點】
[full point highlights]
這是一篇用眼淚用真情揮灑的考場佳作。讀了本文之后，真的被作者那聲聲淚、字字血的語言文字所感染。這種強烈的情感是通過什么手法渲染出來的呢？我認(rèn)為通篇運用的呼告修辭手法起了非常重要的作用。如“媽媽，您還好嗎？”“媽媽，回來好不好？”“媽媽，您看見了嗎？”等語句增強了整個呼喚的抒情表達效果，有力地表達了自己的悲痛情感?？梢哉f，這種呼喚的情感貫穿全文，使文章回環(huán)往復(fù)，蕩氣回腸，使閱卷者也受到了強烈的感染。
This is a masterpiece of the examination hall with tears and true feelings. After reading this article, I was really infected by the author's words with tears and blood. By what means is this strong emotion rendered? I think the call rhetoric used throughout the article plays a very important role. Like "Mom, are you ok?" "Mom, will you come back?" "Mom, did you see it?" And so on sentence enhanced the whole Call Lyric expression effect, effectively expressed their own grief emotion. It can be said that this kind of calling emotion runs through the whole paper, makes the article go back and forth, makes the readers also be strongly infected.
