Sleep wouldn't come. I lay staring into the dark, listening to the sounds of trucks and cars rushing along the nearby interstate. I tried to summon up reassuring1 images of home, now so many hundreds of miles away. I thought of Betsy and Tabitha, the two lovable cats that belonged to my husband and me; of Ben, the playful mutt who loved to catch Frisbees. I thought about friends and neighbors. I pictured the faces of my husband and children.
怎么也唾不著。我兩眼瞅著一片黑暗，耳聽附近州際公路上過往的卡車和轎車呼嘯不停。我迫使自己向數(shù)百英里之外家中那些溫馨的形象尋求慰藉。我想到了貝特西和塔比莎，那是我和丈夫養(yǎng)的兩只可愛的小貓；還有貝思，那只喜歡逮飛碟的頑皮小狗。我想到了朋友們和鄰居們。丈夫和孩子們的面容浮現(xiàn)在我眼前。
I also thought about Lillian, our parents' part-time maid. I could almost touch calmness when I thought about Lillian, with her gentle voice and radiant smile. I knew Lillian was praying for me; she always prays for our family, especially when one of us is away. I found myself clutching for a verse from Deuteronomy. How did it go? "Don't be afraid, for the Lord will go before you and will be with you; He will neither fail nor forsake2 you."
我還想到了莉蓮，我父母雇的鐘點(diǎn)工。想著她那柔美的聲音和燦爛的笑容，我心中幾乎頓感一絲寧靜。我知道莉蓮一定在為我祈禱；她總是為我們一家人祈禱，尤其是有人出門在外時(shí)。不知不覺中我發(fā)現(xiàn)自己琢磨起了《圣經(jīng)》中的句于。那是怎么說的?“不要膽怯，上帝為你開路，與你同在；他不會辜負(fù)你的期待，也不會拋棄你。”
But nothing could dispel3 the sense of helplessness that overwhelmed me whenever I contemplated4 the frowning mountains that lay ahead. The next morning I had to force myself to slide behind the wheel. Just one more day, I kept telling myself. Surely I can find the courage to make it through one day. If I just kept my eyes locked on the back of my brother's truck, if I just made my wheels follow his wheels, I'd be all right. If I would just take slow, deep breaths instead of shallow, terrified gasps5, I would be all right.
盡管如此，一想到還要走下去的崎嘔山路，籠罩在心頭的那種強(qiáng)烈的無助感便無法排遣。第二天一早，我強(qiáng)迫自己坐進(jìn)了駕駛室。只剩一天了，我不斷地告訴自己。我一定能找到勇氣對付這最后的一天。只要盯住弟弟的卡車，跟在他后邊，讓我的車輪沿他的車輪而行，準(zhǔn)不會出事。只要慢慢地深呼吸，而不是氣急敗壞地喘個(gè)不停，就不會出事。
If I could just visualize6 my heart as a place where courage dwelt, instead of panic, I would be all right. I kept telling myself that the fear of crashing through the guardrail and plunging7 over the edge existed only in my imagination, pot in fact. Control, that was the key. I would cling with all my might to control. I would clutch it tight and take charge .
只要想象勇氣長駐心中，恐懼就沒有立足之地．就不會出事的。我一溫遍地提醒自己：沖出護(hù)欄墜入深淵只是幻覺，不是事實(shí)?？刂谱∽约菏顷P(guān)鍵。我要全力以赴地控制住，要牢牢地掌握住。
But as the day wore on and the road mounted higher, that little core of self-control grew smaller and smaller, and finally, on a heart-stop-ping grade southwest of Barstow, California, it vanished altogether.
越往前走路越陡，我那點(diǎn)可憐的控制力越發(fā)微弱，終于，在加州巴斯陀西南一個(gè)令人心驚肉跳的陡坡上，它徹底消失了。
My brother's truck, moving downhill fast, got far ahead of me. With it went the last vestiges8 of my courage. On one side of my little car the mountain rose like a gigantic wall of sheer rock. On the other side was thin air. I struggled desperately9 not to look over the edge.
弟弟的卡車飛速下山，我落后了好遠(yuǎn)。隨之而去的還有我最后的那一絲膽量。我這渺小的汽車的一側(cè)是直插云天的巖石峭壁，另一側(cè)是懸崖上稀薄的空氣。我竭盡全力不讓自己往崖邊上看。
Traffic was streaming down the grade, mostly big trucks in the righthand lane. I wanted to join them there but I could not bring myself to steer10 to the right, toward the edge. Instead I kept inching to the left, going slower and slower in the passing lane, trying to hug the mountain wall.Drivers behind me honked11 their horns angrily. Panic paralyzed me. I wanted to stop but there was no place to pull over. I tried to say the Lord's Prayer. My throat was too tight for words to come.
下坡的路上車流如潮，大卡車大都行駛在右車道上。我想加入到他們中間，可自己就是不聽使喚，不但不能開向靠崖一側(cè)的右邊，反而不停地向左邊峭壁上擠。車在通道上越走越慢，車身快要貼住峭壁了。我身后的司機(jī)們憤怒地按起了喇叭。驚恐完全懾服了我，使我?guī)缀趼楸?。我想要停車又沒有地方靠邊。我試圖背誦主禱文，但喉嚨發(fā)緊，說不出話來。
Ahead of me I could see that the road made a sweeping12 turn to the left. A river of steel was rushing around that curve, moving fast under the pull of gravity. I knew that all I had to do was inch the steering13 wheel to the left and keep pace with traffic, but my arms were rigid14. The fear that filled the car was stronger, much stronger, than I was.
我看見前方有個(gè)角度很小的左轉(zhuǎn)彎，在地心引力的作用下，車流急速繞過彎處。我心里明白，我必須盡力行駛在左側(cè)并與其他車輛保持同速，可我雙臂僵硬。車?yán)锟謶謿夥彰月?，使我倍感自己弱小不堪?/p>
Behind me the impatient horns blared their angry chorus. I was absolutely certain that I was going to plunge15 straight ahead, through the flimsy barrier, then down, down, down through an endless drop. I moaned through clenched16 teeth. Again I tried to pray, this time silently. I begged God not to fail me, to take full control of the situation. Lord, save me from my fear.
我身后不耐煩的喇叭聲響成了一片。我絕望地感到自己就要向前直沖出那不堪一擊的護(hù)欄，然后下墜，再下墜，墜入萬丈深淵。悲鳴從咬緊的牙縫中擠出。我又一次試圖祈禱，這次是默默的。我懇求上帝不要令我失望，千萬控制住局面。上帝，救我于驚恐之中吧!
Then, abruptly17, something unbelievable happened. The traffic roared on. The curve was coming closer. But suddenly, in a flash, the fear vanished. I experienced a presence, virtually a palpable sensation, of overwhelming love filling my car, washing over me, blotting18 our the stark19 panic. Another phrase from the Bible flashed into my mind; "Perfect love casteth out fear." I felt that perfect love, the Lord's love, reaching out to touch my shoulder. A voice, soundless yet perfectly20 real, said, You are safe now. I am here.
驀地，令人難以置信的情形出現(xiàn)了。車輛仍舊叫著。轉(zhuǎn)彎處越來越近。然而驚慌失措的情緒瞬間全然不見了。我分明感到神靈的降臨，一種清晰而巨大的愛的力量直撲車?yán)铮矣縼?，頓時(shí)將懼伯一掃而光。另一句《圣經(jīng)》中的名言閃過我心頭：“偉大的愛使人無畏。”我感覺到了這種偉大的愛，來自上帝的愛，它從天而降。一個(gè)無聲而又十分真切的聲音說到：現(xiàn)在你安全了。我就在你身邊。
I moved into the slow lane, next to the dreaded21 edge, and swept around the terrifying curve. I kept my eyes riveted22 on the road directly ahead. Down and down I went. The curve seemed like it would never end. But all the way down the mountain I felt love encircling me, keeping me safe from my fear and guiding me.
我開進(jìn)了慢車道，緊挨著崖邊轉(zhuǎn)過了令人心驚的急彎。我兩眼直視前方，一路下坡又下坡。彎道似乎沒有盡頭，但下山的路上始終有一股濃濃的愛意包圍著我，保護(hù)著我，指引著我。
Finally I came to a rest area and pulled in. I sagged23 back in the seat. I unclenched my hands and looked at my fingers, white and bent24. The presence I felt so strongly inside the car began to fade, and with it went the last residue25 of the fear that had gripped me these past several days. It drained from me like a poison. I closed my eyes and said a prayer of thanks before putting the car in gear and returning to the highway.
總算來到一處落腳休息的地方，我把車停靠了下來。我靠在椅背上，松開雙手，看到手指煞白且無法伸直。剛才強(qiáng)烈意識到的那股神力開始隱退，折磨了我?guī)滋斓目謶忠搽S之遠(yuǎn)去，一絲不剩，仿佛我體內(nèi)的毒液完全排干了。我合上雙目，感謝上蒼，然后掛擋上路。
I awoke early the next morning in Los Angeles and glanced at the clock: 6:30, which meant 9:30 back home in Georgia. I lay there for a time, thinking about the day before and what I'd discovered that God's perfect love can conquer any situation. He can control things that are beyond our control, even the most crippling fear.
第二天早上在洛杉磯，我一覺早早醒來，看鐘：早晨六點(diǎn)半，這意味著再有三個(gè)小時(shí)，即九點(diǎn)半時(shí)，我就可以回到佐治亞州的家中了。我在床上躺了一會兒，回顧著頭天的情景和自己的發(fā)現(xiàn)：上帝偉大的愛可以征服一切。他能主宰我們應(yīng)付不了的局面，甚至能驅(qū)跑令人魂飛魄散的恐懼。
I picked up the phone and dialed my parents' home in Savannah. A soft, familiar voice answered. "Hi, Lillian," I said. "We made it to California all right."
我拿起電話，撥通了薩凡納市我父母的家。那邊是我熟悉而溫和的聲音。“喂，莉蓮。”我告訴她，“我們一路平安到達(dá)了加州。”
There was a pause and a little sigh from the other end. Then Lil-lian murmured, "Thank You, Jesus.
稍許停了一下，我聽到她輕輕舒了口氣。接著莉蓮低聲說道：“感謝上蒼!”
A little electric tingle26 seemed to run up my spine27. "Why do you say that, Lillian?'
一股電流似乎穿過了我的脊柱。“為什么說這個(gè)，莉蓮?”
"I have to thank Him. I prayed all day for you yesterday. I asked Him to ride with you and keep you safe, to put His hand on your shoulder. He did, didn't He?"
“我一定要感謝上帝。昨天我為你祈禱了一整天。我求他與你同行，保佑你安全，把他的手放在你的肩上。他真的做到了，不是嗎?”
"Oh, yes, Lillian," I answered, "yes, He did."
“是的，莉蓮，”我說，“他確實(shí)做到了。”
