"Don't put any onions in the salad," she reminds me. "You know how Daddy hates onions."

　　“沙拉里一點洋蔥也不要放，”她提醒我，“你知道你爸爸有多討厭洋蔥。”

　　This time I can't answer.

　　這次我沒有回答。

　　I just keep cutting. Chopping. Tearing. If only I could chop away the years. Shred1 the age from my mother's face and hands.

　　我只是不停地切著、剁著、流著淚。要是我能把這些年流逝的時間一掃而光就好了。將母親臉上、手上的歲月滄桑撫平。

　　My mother had been beautiful. She still is. In fact, my mother is still everything she has been, just a bit forgetful. I try to convince myself that's all that it is, and if she really concentrated, she would not repeat herself so much. There isn't anything wrong with her.

　　母親一直都很漂亮?，F(xiàn)在也是。實際上，母親基本沒變，只是有點健忘。我試著說服自己，就是這點問題，如果她真能集中精力，就不會這么一遍遍地嘮叨了。她并沒有什么毛病。

　　I cut off the end of the cucumber and rub it against the stalk to take away the bitterness. The white juice oozes2 out the sides. Wouldn't it be nice if all unpleasant situations could be so easily remedied? Cut and rub. This is a trick I have learned from my mother, along with a trillion other things: cooking, sewing, dating, laughing, thinking. I learned how to grow up. I learned the art of sorting through emotions.

　　我切下黃瓜的一端，用它在黃瓜上摩擦以消除苦味。白色的汁液從邊上滲出來。如果所有的不快都能這么容易地解決，這不是太好了嗎？切下來，然后摩擦。這是我從母親那里學(xué)來的竅門，除了這個，還有數(shù)不清的事情：做飯，縫紉、約會、笑、思考。我學(xué)會了如何長大，學(xué)會了處理感情的藝術(shù)。

　　And I learned that when my mother was around, I never had to be afraid.

　　而且我知道，只要母親在旁邊，沒有什么東西可以讓我害怕。

　　So why am I afraid now?

　　那么，現(xiàn)在我為什么害怕呢？

　　I study my mother's hands. Her nails are no longer a bright red, but painted a light pink, almost no color at all. And as I stare at them, I realize I am no longer looking at those hands but feeling them as they shaped my youth. Hands that packed a thousand lunches and wiped a million tears off my cheeks. Hands that tucked confidence into each day of my life.

　　我仔細端詳母親的手。她的指甲不再是鮮紅色的了，但卻涂成了淡粉色，那顏色淡得幾乎沒有。在我端詳這雙手的時候，我發(fā)現(xiàn)自己不再是看這雙手，而是在感覺這雙塑造我青春的手。這是一雙為我裝過成千上萬次午餐，無數(shù)次從我的臉頰擦去淚水的手，是一雙在我生命中的每一天都給我信心的手。

　　I turn away and throw the cucumber into the bowl. And then it hits me. My hands have grown into those of my mother's.

　　我轉(zhuǎn)過身把黃瓜扔進碗里。然后我突然心中一動。 我的手已經(jīng)長成了母親那樣。

　　Hands that have cooked uneaten meals, held my own daughter's frightened fingers on the first day of school and dried tears off her face.

　　這雙手曾做了多少頓沒有吃的飯，曾在女兒上學(xué)的頭一天握著她受驚的手指，擦干她臉上的淚水。

　　I grow lighthearted. I can feel my mother kiss me goodnight, check to see if the window is locked, then blow another kiss from the doorway3. Then I am my mother, blowing that same kiss to Anna off that same palm.

　　我的心情舒暢起來。我能感覺到母親吻我，向我道晚安，檢查窗戶是否關(guān)嚴(yán)，然后在門口又給我一個飛吻。然后，我變成了我的媽媽，用同一個手掌也給了安娜一個飛吻。

　　Outside everything is still. Shadows fall among the trees, shaped like pieces of a puzzle.

　　屋外一切如舊。樹影朦朧，如同一個迷。