In downtown New York, at a somewhat trashy apartment, there lived a man named Howard. He was a young man, in his mid-twenties, and had a terrible fear of cockroaches2. Well if you've been to New York, and maybe live or stayed in a rundown hotel, you know how many cockroaches there are. Too many to count!

　　Howie had just come home from work and was looking for a bit of relaxation3. All he wanted to do was get a bowl of ice cream, sit down and read the newspaper. He started raiding the messy cabinets and sink to look for a bowl and a spoon. He found the bowl, got out the ice cream and opened a drawer to get the spoon when, Surprise!! Out jumps a big juicy cockroach1. After jumping twenty feet in the air and grabbing a spoon out of the drawer, he sat down to calm himself. "God forsaken4 roaches!" he yelled, while slowing his heartbeat, just as another cockroach crawled between his feet. "There's got to be something I can do to get rid of them." Just then, as he was getting his ice cream and reading ads in the paper, one specific ad caught his eye. "Got Roaches? We have a solution! Come down to Sam's Pet Club today and get yourself the natural predator5 of the roaches, a Gecko！"

　　"What in the world?" Howard thought. He read on: "That's right! A gecko! Follow the directions below to get your very own live cockroach eliminator! Then ask our friendly staff how to care for and what to do to get rid of your cockroaches." "Ya right. That gecko will probably eat me while I sleep." he said as yet another roach scuttled6 across the floor. He felt sick. He thought it was worth a try, so the very next day he followed the directions on the ad to the pet store.

　　He asked about the geckos and the staff told him what to do with a gecko and how much they were and, soon enough, he was driving home with his very own gecko. "Great," he thought "yet another little critter that is going to be loitering around in my house."

　　He got home and did just as the woman at the store told him to do, and let the gecko go. He saw the gecko run under the refrigerator after the nearest cockroach it saw. "Well, at least he is doing his job." he said after he heard the loud "GECKO, GECKO," sound that geckos make when they swallow.

　　Days went by, and Howard saw fewer and fewer roaches. He didn't like the gecko running around his house all the time, but what's one gecko to a thousand roaches? He shrugged7 it off, and tried to suck it up. One thing he did do, however, was close the door before he went to bed. But no matter what he did, somehow the lizard8 always got into his room.

　　One day after work, he was getting some dinner when he saw the gecko chase one of the last cockroaches on the house under the refrigerator. He saw the cockroach scurry9 under it with the gecko far behind struggling to go under. That's when Harold realized. It was getting bigger. That night he did everything he could to keep the Gecko out of his room. He fell into a deep sleep.

　　All the police found the next morning was a small stain on the bed that looked like blood. They searched everywhere in the house for Harold after a worried neighbor heard a slight scream and a haunting "GECKO, GECKO," that morning, but no one could find anything. No Harold, No Gecko, No cockroaches, nothing. They left that house confused and wondering, never to see Harold again. The only place they didn't check was under the bed, where the gecko was - big as ever, and full at last.

　　有個人名叫霍華德，住在紐約市區(qū)一座衛(wèi)生狀況很糟糕的公寓里面。他很年輕，也就二十四五歲，但是怕蟑螂怕得要死。其實，只要你去過紐約并且在那種很差的小旅館住過或者呆過一會兒，你就會知道那里到底有多少蟑螂了，簡直不計其數(shù)！

　　有一天霍華德下班剛剛到家，想要放松一下，其實他想做的全部事情也就是吃碗冰淇淋、坐下歇會兒看看今天的報紙。他在又臟又亂的壁櫥里面翻騰著，想找個碗和勺子。但是他只找到了碗，于是他把冰淇淋倒進去，然后打開抽屜拿勺子，噢天哪！跳出來一只渾身濕漉漉的大蟑螂，嚇得他一蹦有二十尺高。胡亂地抓了一個勺子，他坐下來讓自己平靜一下。“上帝啊，求你趕走這些蟑螂吧！”他大叫著，心怦怦的跳。還沒有平靜下來，這時另外一只蟑螂又從他兩腿之間爬過去。“總會有辦法能夠解決掉你們的！”他喃喃地說。吃著冰淇淋，他一邊看著報上的廣告，其中的一則引起了他的注意。“你家有蟑螂嗎？我們有辦法！快來薩姆寵物商店，我們出售蟑螂的天敵——壁虎！”

　　“這到底是什么呀？”霍華德一邊想著一邊繼續(xù)往下看，“沒錯，就是壁虎！跟著下面這個地址，你就能擁有活生生的滅蟑器！我們熱情的員工會告訴你該怎樣飼養(yǎng)這種壁虎，到時你將再也不會受到蟑螂的困擾了。”“天哪，這么一只壁虎都能在我睡覺的時候把我給吃了！”他自言自語道，這時又有一只蟑螂從地板上快速的爬過去，他感到一陣惡心，隨即認為值得去嘗試一下買只壁虎來，因此第二天馬上就按照地址來到了那家寵物商店。

　　他詢問了關于壁虎的事情，店員告訴他關于飼養(yǎng)的注意事項以及價格方面的事情，過了沒一會兒他就和自己的壁虎開車回家了。“太棒了，”他心里想，“馬上就會有另外一種小生物天天在家里溜達了。”

　　他到了家，按照商店女營業(yè)員所說的那樣把壁虎放了出來。壁虎看見了身旁最近的一只蟑螂后馬上就跟著鉆到冰箱底下去了，隨即他聽見一陣很大的聲音“咕咚! 咕咚!”，像是壁虎吞下蟑螂的時候發(fā)出來的。“好，至少它已經(jīng)開始工作了。

　　日子一天天過去，霍華德家的蟑螂越來越少。其實他并不喜歡壁虎天天在家里跑來跑去的，但是如果不那樣的話一只壁虎怎么對付一千只蟑螂呢（但相對于容忍上千只蟑螂來說，一只壁虎又算得了什么呢）？他也只有聳聳肩，盡量去適應了。不過有一件事他還是一直堅持做的，那就是每天睡覺前都會關上房門。但是無論他怎樣做，壁虎也總是有辦法進入他的房間。

　　一天下班后他正在吃晚飯，只見壁虎正在冰箱底下追著一只蟑螂，眼下屋子里已經(jīng)沒有多少了。蟑螂急匆匆的從冰箱底下跑過去，壁虎在后面也努力的想要鉆過去。這時霍華德才注意到，他的壁虎長大了。那天晚上他想盡了辦法才把壁虎擋在房門外，隨后就沉沉的睡去了。

　　轉天早上，警察在床上只發(fā)現(xiàn)了一小塊污漬，似乎是血跡。有個鄰居早晨隱約聽到一聲尖叫以及讓他印象深刻的“咕咚、咕咚”聲后報了警，他們?yōu)榱苏业交羧A德于是搜遍了整間屋子，但是什么也沒發(fā)現(xiàn)。沒有霍華德、沒有壁虎、沒有蟑螂，什么都沒有。他們滿腹狐疑的離開了，但是從此再也沒見到霍華德。只有一個地方他們沒有檢查，那就是床底下，壁虎其實就在那兒——還是那么大，但是終于吃飽了。