HAVING obtained an audience of the King an Ingenious Patriot1 pulled

　　a paper from his pocket, saying:

　　"May it please your Majesty2, I have here a formula for constructing

　　armour3-plating which no gun can pierce. If these plates are

　　adopted in the Royal Navy our warships4 will be invulnerable, and

　　therefore invincible5. Here, also, are reports of your Majesty's

　　Ministers, attesting6 the value of the invention. I will part with

　　my right in it for a million tumtums."

　　After examining the papers, the King put them away and promised him

　　an order on the Lord High Treasurer7 of the Extortion Department for

　　a million tumtums.

　　"And here," said the Ingenious Patriot, pulling another paper from

　　another pocket, "are the working plans of a gun that I have

　　invented, which will pierce that armour. Your Majesty's Royal

　　Brother, the Emperor of Bang, is anxious to purchase it, but

　　loyalty8 to your Majesty's throne and person constrains9 me to offer

　　it first to your Majesty. The price is one million tumtums."

　　Having received the promise of another check, he thrust his hand

　　into still another pocket, remarking:

　　"The price of the irresistible10 gun would have been much greater,

　　your Majesty, but for the fact that its missiles can be so

　　effectively averted11 by my peculiar12 method of treating the armour

　　plates with a new- "

　　The King signed to the Great Head Factotum13 to approach.

　　"Search this man," he said, "and report how many pockets he has."

　　"Forty-three, Sire," said the Great Head Factotum, completing the

　　scrutiny14.

　　"May it please your Majesty," cried the Ingenious Patriot, in

　　terror, "one of them contains tobacco."

　　"Hold him up by the ankles and shake him," said the King; "then

　　give him a check for forty-two million tumtums and put him to

　　death. Let a decree issue declaring ingenuity15 a capital offence."