A DISTINGUISHED1 Advocate of Republican Institutions was seen

　　pickling his shins in the ocean.

　　"Why don't you come out on dry land?" said the Spectator. "What

　　are you in there for?"

　　"Sir," replied the Distinguished Advocate of Republican

　　Institutions, "a ship is expected, bearing His Majesty2 the King of

　　the Fly-Speck Islands, and I wish to be the first to grasp the

　　crowned hand."

　　"But," said the Spectator, "you said in your famous speech before

　　the Society for the Prevention of the Protrusion3 of Nail Heads from

　　Plank4 Sidewalks that Kings were blood-smeared oppressors and hell-

　　bound loafers."

　　"My dear sir," said the Distinguished Advocate of Republican

　　Institutions, without removing his eyes from the horizon, "you

　　wander away into the strangest irrelevancies! I spoke5 of Kings in

　　the abstract."