"WHAT a happy land you are!" said a Republican Form of Government

　　to a Sovereign State. "Be good enough to lie still while I walk

　　upon you, singing the praises of universal suffrage1 and descanting

　　upon the blessings2 of civil and religious liberty. In the meantime

　　you can relieve your feelings by cursing the one-man power and the

　　effete3 monarchies4 of Europe."

　　"My public servants have been fools and rogues5 from the date of

　　your accession to power," replied the State; "my legislative6

　　bodies, both State and municipal, are bands of thieves; my taxes

　　are insupportable; my courts are corrupt7; my cities are a disgrace

　　to civilisation8; my corporations have their hands at the throats of

　　every private interest - all my affairs are in disorder9 and

　　criminal confusion."

　　"That is all very true," said the Republican Form of Government,

　　putting on its hobnail shoes; "but consider how I thrill you every

　　Fourth of July."