——致甜甜同學(xué)的一封信

——A letter to Tiantian

甜甜同學(xué)：

Sweet students:

你好！你聽過這樣一個故事嗎：

Hello! Have you heard such a story:

有位畫家，立志要畫一幅人間最美的畫，長途跋涉了許多年，游歷了無數(shù)的地方，可始終沒有找到自己滿意的素材，終于有一天，他感到倦怠了，想到了家，想到了年邁的母親。他立即整理行裝火速往家趕，就在他爬上熟悉的小山坡時(shí)，眼前的景象卻使他震撼了：母親倚在村口的梧桐樹下，眺望著遠(yuǎn)方，落日余輝灑滿全身，如同一尊雕塑，樹上的火風(fēng)鳥陪伴著她，畫家終于發(fā)現(xiàn)，美原來在自己身邊。

There is a painter who is determined to draw the most beautiful painting in the world. He has traveled for many years and traveled many places, but he has never found his own satisfactory materials. One day, he felt tired, thought of home and his old mother. He immediately packed up and rushed home, and when he climbed the familiar hillside, the sight of him shocked him. His mother leaned against the Wutong tree under the entrance of the village and looked far away. The sun was shining all over the body, like a sculpture. The Huo Feng bird on the tree was accompanying her. The painter finally found that beauty was there by itself.

成長也是如此。青春、智慧乃至生命，是人生不息的詠嘆，但需要你用心去發(fā)現(xiàn)其中的樂趣。不然總是覺得陽光沒有照到自己。

The same is true of growth. Youth, wisdom and even life are the eternal aria of life, but it needs your heart to find the fun. Otherwise, I always feel that the sun doesn't shine on me.

被蘋果砸到的牛頓；打算用槍結(jié)束自己的保爾；吞下大量安眠藥的張海迪——他們都是苦難的幸存者，也是快樂的發(fā)現(xiàn)者：牛頓發(fā)現(xiàn)了地球引力；保爾扣動板機(jī)前一剎那發(fā)現(xiàn)了生存的價(jià)值，創(chuàng)作了《鋼鐵是怎樣煉成的》這部巨作；張海迪發(fā)現(xiàn)生命曙光后，重新呼吸，自學(xué)了六國語言和醫(yī)學(xué)。

Newton who was hit by an apple; Paul who was going to end his life with a gun; Zhang Haidi who swallowed a lot of sleeping pills -- both survivors of suffering and happy discoverers: Newton discovered the earth's gravity; Paul discovered the value of survival in a moment before he pulled the trigger, and created the masterpiece how steel is made; Zhang Haidi breathed again after he found the dawn of life He taught himself six languages and medicine.

初中的歲月有些枯燥，求學(xué)的日子會犧牲很多追求。當(dāng)你發(fā)現(xiàn)父母眼角的皺紋；河邊冒尖的嫩草，大海中遠(yuǎn)遠(yuǎn)閃爍的燈塔；雖不驚天動地，卻溫馨可愛。此時(shí)此刻，快樂會蕩漾在你的內(nèi)心深處。

Junior high school years some boring, study days will sacrifice a lot of pursuit. When you find the wrinkles in the corners of your parents' eyes, the tender grass rising from the river, and the lighthouse shining far away in the sea, they are warm and lovely though they do not make the earth shake. At this moment, happiness will ripple in your heart.

快樂到處都有，關(guān)鍵在于能不能去發(fā)現(xiàn)。富人的快樂在于生意談妥，股票上升，地皮升值。窮人的快樂在于家人平安，孩子健康．生活美滿。老人的快樂在于下棋有招，看戲有樂，子女孝順。孩子的快樂在于老師表揚(yáng)，漫畫有趣，去肯德基大快朵頤。

Happiness is everywhere. The key is to find out. The happiness of the rich lies in the negotiation of business, the rise of stocks and the appreciation of land. The happiness of the poor lies in the safety of their families, the health of their children and the happiness of their lives. The happiness of the old man lies in his moves in playing chess, his joy in watching plays and his filial piety. Children's happiness lies in Teachers' praise, funny comics, and eating at KFC.

噢，告訴你一個秘密，記住這個品牌——“百事可樂”，你就會做一個快樂的發(fā)現(xiàn)者。

Oh, tell you a secret, remember this brand - "Pepsi Cola", you will be a happy discoverer.

一個關(guān)心你的同學(xué)

A classmate who cares about you

【閱卷簡批】

[review and approval]

“做個快樂的發(fā)現(xiàn)者”，筆者認(rèn)為，“甜甜”的這種狀態(tài)是因?yàn)闆]有找到屬于自己的快樂、缺乏發(fā)現(xiàn)而導(dǎo)致的。于是作者以引導(dǎo)的方式來面對“甜甜”這一問題。故事是大家都喜歡聽的，尤其韻味深刻的故事能給人帶來啟發(fā)，使人感于故事，感于現(xiàn)實(shí)。作者正是在這樣地引導(dǎo)，而且故事勾勒的神情飽滿，怎能不折服于人呢。而主體部分的舉例論證更是句句鏗鏘有力，容不得質(zhì)疑，容不得否定，這種先發(fā)制人的筆功值得考生欣賞、借鑒。

To be a happy discoverer, I believe that the state of "sweet" is caused by the lack of happiness and discovery. So the author faces the problem of "sweet" in the way of guidance. Stories are what we all like to listen to, especially the profound stories can bring inspiration, make people feel the story, feel the reality. It is in this way that the author guides, and the story is full of expression, how can we not admire people. And the main part of the example argument is the sentence sonorous and powerful, can not be questioned, can not be denied, this pre emptive writing merit is worth the examinee to appreciate and learn.

[發(fā)展等級]

[development level]

書信體的寫作是學(xué)生最早接觸也最為熟悉的表達(dá)文體，但在這最平常的表達(dá)文體中要推陳出新同樣不是萬難的事。從命題角度看，雖然給作者畫地為牢，但在句式、結(jié)構(gòu)等方面同樣有所發(fā)展余熱。作者的開篇很具特色，以哲理的故事開始，將讀者帶入鎖定的方向。這樣的開頭甚其巧妙，給人的第一印象“似曾相識”，具有很好的吸引讀者的誘惑力。

The writing of letter style is the first expression style that students are familiar with, but it is not difficult to innovate in the most common expression style. From the perspective of proposition, although it is a prison for the author, it also has some residual heat in the development of sentence pattern and structure. The author's opening is very distinctive, starting with a philosophical story, which brings the reader into a locked direction. This kind of beginning is very ingenious, giving people the first impression of "deja vu", which has a good attraction to readers.