爸是一個(gè)很強(qiáng)壯的大漢。

Dad is a very strong man.

我和爸相依為命。

My father and I live by each other.

從我出生那時(shí)起，似乎就只有這個(gè)男人在我身邊。隨著他手上的繭一層一層地加厚，我也一天一天地在搖晃的船上長大。

Since I was born, it seems that only this man is around me. As the cocoons on his hands thicken layer by layer, I grew up day by day on the rickety boat.

我爸是個(gè)好心的擺渡手，村里的人都這么說。我也一直這么自豪地認(rèn)為。

My father is a kind ferry operator, so people in the village say. I've always felt so proud.

因?yàn)樗麛[渡只是為了讓每一個(gè)村里人都能安然渡河，而從不收取一分錢，所以我和我爸的生活全靠那一畝田地。雖然日子過得拮據(jù)，然而我爸卻使盡辦法讓我吃好的、穿暖的。我覺得只要有我爸在，我就是個(gè)幸福的孩子。

Because he ferry just to let every village people cross the river safely, and never charge a cent, so my father and I live on that acre of land. Though I was living a hard life, my father made every effort to keep me warm and well fed. I think as long as I have my father, I am a happy child.

然而有一天，一個(gè)陌生的女子突然站在船艙外，我爸叫我喚她“阿姨”。從此以后，這個(gè)“阿姨”便在我們狹窄的船艙里住下了。她對(duì)每個(gè)人都笑嘻嘻的，每次我爸在擺渡，她總會(huì)幫他擦汗，遞水。

One day, however, a strange woman suddenly stood outside the cabin. My father asked me to call her "aunt". From then on, the "aunt" lived in our narrow cabin. She laughs at everyone. Every time my father is on the ferry, she will wipe his sweat and hand him water.

可我不喜歡她，她占去了我爸太多的關(guān)注，這讓我感覺備受冷落。于是，我千方百計(jì)扔掉她送給我的東西，不穿她做的衣服，不吃她做的飯菜。但是我這樣做，不僅沒得到爸的關(guān)切的問候，而且他還狠狠地瞪我，要我聽她的話?？粗鞍⒁獭睗M臉的淚水，我不知所措，同時(shí)又增添了莫名的憤怒。

But I don't like her. She takes up too much attention from my father, which makes me feel left out. So I tried my best to throw away the things she gave me, not to wear the clothes she made, not to eat the food she made. But in doing so, not only did I not get my father's concern greetings, but he also glared at me fiercely, asking me to listen to her words. Looking at the tears on aunt's face, I was at a loss, and at the same time added inexplicable anger.

終于有一天，我半故意半失手地將“阿姨”推進(jìn)了流水的旋渦里。我爸發(fā)瘋似地跳進(jìn)河里，抱上了奄奄一息的“阿姨”。

Finally one day, I pushed "Auntie" into the whirlpool of the water half deliberately and half by half. My father jumped madly into the river and picked up the dying "aunt".

“我到底是不是你的女兒？”隨著爸爸掄起的巴掌落下，我聲嘶力竭地喊了出來。

"Am I your daughter?" As my father's slap fell, I screamed out.

“你不是我女兒！她才是你媽！”爸爸臉上的青筋暴起，對(duì)著我大吼。

"You are not my daughter! She's your mother! " The blue tendons on dad's face burst up and shouted at me.

我轉(zhuǎn)頭望著躺在床上的她，呆呆地望著。許久，爸爸說話了：

I turned my head to look at her in bed, stupidly. For a long time, dad said:

“十多年前，我還是個(gè)在外打工的青年人，因?yàn)閷W(xué)歷不高，所以連肚子都填不飽。于是萬念俱灰，喝了幾瓶酒便昏昏沉沉地往這條河里跳。當(dāng)時(shí)天很黑，我以為沒人知道，但是你的親生父親——就是這艘船原來的主人，他用盡力氣將我救上岸，自己卻被奔騰的河水卷走了！當(dāng)時(shí)她——就是你媽，抱著一個(gè)月的你失去了理智，她將你扔在船艙里，之后就不知去向……經(jīng)過河水的沖刷，醒來的我只看見船艙里的你。是我的錯(cuò)，是我使你們美好的一家破裂。你的親生父親好心救了我，讓我知道人不能只為自己活著，為了幫助別人，甚至失去生命也并不可惜！”

"Ten years ago, I was a young man working outside. Because of my low education, I couldn't even fill my stomach. So he was so disillusioned that he drank a few bottles of wine and began to jump into the river in a daze. It was very dark at that time, I thought no one knew, but your own father, the original owner of the ship, tried his best to save me ashore, but he was swept away by the surging river! At that time, she was your mother. Holding you for a month, she lost her mind. She left you in the cabin and then disappeared After the river wash, wake up I only see you in the cabin. It's my fault. It's I who broke up your wonderful family. Your own father saved me with kindness, and let me know that it's not a pity that people can't live only for themselves, or even lose their lives in order to help others! "

爸爸泣不成聲。他又說，他從此拿起了船槳，日復(fù)一日地渡人過河。我終于能理解他為什么每次都會(huì)那么奮不顧身地跳下河去救落水的人，甚至只是落水的物品。他是懷著一顆感恩的心去面對(duì)周圍的一切啊。

Dad broke down in tears. He said that he took up the oars and crossed the river day by day. I can finally understand why he would jump down the river so desperately every time to save the drowning people, or even just the drowning objects. He is with a grateful heart to face everything around him.

“你爸的精神一直鼓舞著我。我將你養(yǎng)大，又四處尋找你媽媽，乞求她的原諒，并用我的真心和時(shí)間等待她歸來，真真正正地做你的爸爸！”我爸握緊了“阿姨”的手。

"Your father's spirit has always inspired me. I raised you up, looked for your mother everywhere, begged for her forgiveness, and waited for her return with my heart and time. I am really your father! " My father clenched aunt's hand.

“我始終記得你爸對(duì)我的救命之恩，他讓我學(xué)會(huì)了愛別人，學(xué)會(huì)了幫助別人！”

"I always remember your father's help. He taught me to love and help others!"

我爸是個(gè)擺渡手。

My father is a ferryman.

我的爸爸們是偉大的擺渡手。

My dads are great ferries.

名師點(diǎn)評(píng)

Famous teachers' comments

似乎挑不出什么明顯的毛病(扣題很準(zhǔn)，“我的爸爸們是偉大的擺渡手”一句還耐人尋味)，也可以給它一個(gè)不錯(cuò)的分?jǐn)?shù)，但我們?cè)谛牡锥疾粫?huì)覺得這是一篇讓人叫好的“佳作”。問題出在哪里？抑或是缺了些什么？史鐵生在《我與地壇》中說過：“寫作的零度即生命的起點(diǎn)，寫作由之出發(fā)的地方即生命之固有的疑難，寫作之終于的尋求，即靈魂最初的眺望。”因此，寫作可以說是眺望靈魂，作文的目的應(yīng)該是表達(dá)思想、表現(xiàn)真情實(shí)感。作為小小說，雖然允許虛構(gòu)，但作者的情感仍應(yīng)是真實(shí)的；而故事情節(jié)的設(shè)計(jì)，也不能呈現(xiàn)“假、大、空”的弊病。而本文，明顯給人一種“失真”的感覺，尤其是“終于有一天，我半故意半失手地將‘阿姨’推進(jìn)了流水的旋渦里”這一筆。

It seems that we can't find any obvious faults (the sentence "my dads are great ferrymen" is interesting) or give them a good score, but we won't think it's a good "masterpiece" in our hearts. What's the problem? Or what is missing? Shi Tiesheng said in "I and Ditan" that "the zero degree of writing is the starting point of life, the place from which writing starts is the inherent difficulty of life, and the ultimate pursuit of writing is the initial vision of soul." Therefore, writing can be said to look at the soul, and the purpose of writing should be to express ideas and express true feelings. As a small novel, although fiction is allowed, the author's feelings should still be true, and the design of the plot can not show the disadvantages of "false, big and empty". However, this article obviously gives people a sense of "distortion", especially "one day, I pushed my aunt into the vortex of water half intentionally and half by half".

表達(dá)上也有小問題，比如“經(jīng)過河水的沖刷，醒來的我只看見船艙里的你”“是我使你們美好的一家破裂”等，宜作修改。

There are also small problems in expression, such as "I wake up only to see you in the cabin after the river wash" and "it's me that makes your beautiful family break" and so on, which should be modified.